Change Sucks.

So I am one of those people who sucks at change. Like a lot. I like routine. I like to know what I can expect. I’ll admit it…I like to be in control.

The last fews years when I have gone from camp to school or school to  home or really anytime that I have packed things into a suitcase and gone from one place to another, I have really struggled. All I usually want to do is climb into my bed with Netflix or go for long drives in the car screaming to my favorite songs, or just let myself cry and be sad. But I would say that I have gotten better at these transitions. I have my ‘wallowing in sadness’ time down to about a day or two depending on how severe the transition is.

So here I am, faced with another one of these transitions. This time though I don’t think I am going to get over it in a day or two. This transition is different because I am different. This summer has fundamentally changed who I am, how I see and interact with the world, how I think, everything seems so different. And I will be honest, I do not know what this means for me and for my life when I get back home. This confusion is also making me a crabby travel companion (so shout out to Mom, Dad, and Abby for putting up with me-true unconditional love).

But, here are a few things that I have been able to figure out:

To my people at home, please don’t get annoyed with me. This is your warning. I will talk incessantly about this experience…at least for the first few weeks. Just let me do it. It is how I cope. I talk. A lot. You can maybe help the process go a little bit quicker if you ask lots of questions :).

To my new friends, thank you. It sounds so lame but you have proven to me time and time again that friendships created beyond all of the cultural, ethnic, and language barriers are some of the strongest friendships that can be forged. I am telling myself that if we can overcome those awkward first days we can overcome some separation from each other. I could (and might if I can get through it without completely breaking down) write a blog post about how each of you have changed me individually.

And for myself, I am constantly saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and “how lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” And my personal favorite currently, “it is not goodbye, it is see you later.”

 

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